And then it all came tumbling down.....

Well, I thought I was doing okay...

That is, until I managed to lose some majorly important documents of Aaron's, right before a majorly important meeting, and thus cause total and utter chaos.

Apparently, I have been trying too hard to be all things to too many people, too soon out of the gate after giving birth. I feel obligated to make sure Big-A has a major activity planned every day, so as to assuage my guilt of having to spend so much time feeding and rocking Little-A right now, so am organizing playdates, activities, and probably more stuff in a day than most two-and-a-half-year olds see in a week.

I am also trying to stay jovial with my husband, keep up with the family, stay in close contact with friends and even revive old friendships with girlfriends who now have kids that are finally of an age to join us at the water park and beach.

The bottom line is that it is all starting to get away from me. The house is a mess of clutter, and I am forgetting things and losing things, which I. NEVER. DO.

Short of calling up the Burnaby recycling depot and crawling through the dumpsters myself, (what a picture!) there is little I can do about the missing documents. I can, however, either let my house or my head go completely to pot in these early days, and let it all get away from me.

Oh, and did I mention I absolutely SUCK at asking for help? That I feel this pathological incessant need to prove myself capable and able to do all the tasks at hand, and not only do them, but do them exceptionally well with aplomb? This lack of vocalization has really gotten me in a heap of trouble...

So for now, I pledge to put my head down all weekend, tidy, organize and de-clutter, and not look up until I either find the docs I lost, or my house and head is a little less wooly.

Sorry, Aaron.

I am so very, very sorry.